Humor and Satire Writer | Professor | Writing Center Director | Nice Lady
Lean the F*ck Out
Talia thinks it is a bitter, acerbic takedown of rampant hustle culture. Her editor says it is a “breezy, joyful manifesto.” Who’s right? I don’t know; you should find out for yourself!
Don’t Worry, My Dog Doesn’t Bite, The Belladonna
A Date? Not for All the Tea in China, Slackjaw
You Should Give Me a Compliment Because I Will Take It Really Well, McSweeney’s
And Then God and His Staff Sort of Created February, The Belladonna
A Day in the Life of Today’s Parent, as Imagined by Grandparents, McSweeney’s
How Old I Think Your Kid Is, The New Yorker
An Apology to the Other Parents at Our Kids’ Bus Stop for How Incredibly Boring I Am, McSweeney’s
Welcome to Rosalita’s Boarding House for Girls and Women Rescued by Bruce Springsteen from Dead-End Small Towns, McSweeney’s
Most Recent
The New Yorker
“Award”-Winning (sort Of) and Personal Faves
A Day in the Life of Today’s Parent, as Imagined by Grandparents, McSweeney’s 3rd most-read article of January 2024
Introducing Our University’s New Executive Vice President of Saving Money, McSweeney’s 11th most-read article of 2023
How to Ensure Your Annual Beach Vacation Destroys Your Relationship with Your Extended Family (co-written with Jeff Bender), McSweeney’s 8th most-read article of 2023
How Urgently Your Mom Needs to Talk to You, Based on What She Said in the Voicemail, McSweeney’s 5th most-read article of 2023
Are You Doing Something Very Ordinary in Real Life or Unraveling at the Brink of a Mental Breakdown in a Movie?, McSweeney’s, chosen as a “best of the week” by the Newsletter of Humorous Writing
Why I, The Real Estate Novelist From “Piano Man,” Never Had Time For A Wife (co-written with Jeff Bender), Slackjaw, reprinted in The Funny Times
Sophie B. Needs To Grow The Fuck Up And Admit That Santa Is Real, Slackjaw
Norrisville Elementary’s Non-Compulsory Mid-December Spirit Week Has Nothing to Do with Christmas, McSweeney’s, chosen as a “best of the week” by the Newsletter of Humorous Writing
Bruce Springsteen Lyrics that Hit Differently as I Age (co-written with Jeff Bender), reprinted in Reader’s Digest
Don’t Cross Me Because I Will Get My Revenge by Being Marginally Less Pleasant the Next Time We Meet, McSweeney’s, chosen as a “best of the week” by the Newsletter of Humorous Writing
Contract Rider for My Appearance at Your Upcoming Party, The Belladonna
What Your Favorite ‘90s Rock Band Says about the Type of Bored Suburban Dad You Are Today (co-written with Jared Bilski), McSweeney’s 10th most-read article of 2021
Vaccine Side Effect, or Have You Just Been Alive for 40 Years?, McSweeney’s 5th most-read article of 2021
If Everyone Did Their Jobs Like the IRS (co-written with Nick Morgan), Weekly Humorist, chosen as a Weekly Humorist “best of 2021”
Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy March Madness: Key Matchups in the NCAA Little Women Tournament, McSweeney’s
You Can Skip the First Few Seasons of Your Child’s Life, Because It Doesn’t Really Get Good Until Season 6, McSweeney’s, reprinted in Embrace the Merciless Joy: The McSweeney’s Internet Tendency Guide to Raising Small, Medium, and Large Children
Noted Philosophers Reconsider Their Key Insights After a Month of Social Distancing, McSweeney’s
About the author
Talia Argondezzi has written for McSweeney’s, The New Yorker, The Belladonna, Points in Case, Slackjaw, and many other places, because she is a middle child and it’s the only way she could think of to get her parents’ attention. She teaches at Ursinus College. Her friend’s baby is cropped out of this picture. She’ll get around to having a real author photo taken soon.
